My ex best friend and I were inseparable for 10 years. I knew all of her friends and she knew all of mine. I even met my current boyfriend through her.
We stopped being friends about a year and a half ago over some drama in our friend group. The story would be hard to explain or even summarize without this post getting absurdly long. Just know the most basic reason I can give is that we introduced a new girls into the group(Ava), she was obsessed with my now ex best friend (Lea), Lea confessed to me how weird she felt about Ava’s behavior and we had several conversations on how to address and confront said behavior. Ultimately Lea chose to side with Ava after all the shitty things she’s done to me, our friends, and to her and it split us apart.
Now with that in mind, its hard to explain the complexity of Lea and I’s relationship. It wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows, but she and my friends were my family and I loved her more than I ever thought possible. Losing her was the biggest heartbreak I’ve ever experienced. A large part of me truly still loves her, but I’m also aware that I was toxically dependent on her in a way that may have not been reciprocated.
Which brings me to the confusion I feel now. Ever since our friend group broke up and we had our final fight where I told her we could either a.) work on our problems together or b.) separate and she chose separate. She’s been making passive aggressive social media posts, slowly over the course of a year and a half removing me and my other friends from social media in a really weird pattern. If you wanted to get rid of someone or block someone, I’d assume you’d do it all at once but no. It’s been slow, every few months she’ll unadd me on gaming platforms, then Pinterest, then Spotify, then Instagram, then Twitter, and finally she unadded me on discord today. (I moved to a different town, so I no longer see her in person if you’re wondering why most of this is social media). But Ive woken up to find notifications from her accounts on my phone, but when I click them everything is deleted. I have weird accounts that check my instagram story as soon as I post that seem to be some of her new friends I’ve never met before, so they have no reason to be checking my stuff. And I’ve gotten screenshots of her stories from mutual friends of ours that are clear attacks aimed at me, but I’m utterly baffled bc I haven’t engaged or made any petty moves since our split up.
The most recent story was her saying “let your hatred inspire you to be kinder to those around you.” This was posted moments after she unadded me (my friend noticed and sent me the post.) This is only one of the few petty things I’ve seen from her. I do not understand what the point of this is. A cry for attention? A way to hurt me? Our breakup tore me apart and I still mourn what we had, but from everyone else perspective she showed little care for me. Even Ava told me that Lea didn’t need nor want me as much as I wanted her. So what’s the point of all this?
A part of me wants to message her and just say “If you want to talk, let’s talk.” But thats a horrible idea for a multitude of reasons.
I truthfully just want to understand what’s going on and why? As well as advice on if I should attempt to reach out or to just ignore it and let her have her hissy fit.