Kilcock residential prerequisites
As someone who commutes daily on the M4, I have reached breaking point with Junction 8, specifically heading Westbound in the evening.
My breaking point is trying to understand just why exactly is it that seemingly every person taking this junction drives like their trying to qualify for the F1, with your aggressive undertaking, tailgating, brake slamming and general car-fuckery.
Firstly, given the absolute insane road rage that seems to occur just prior to this Junction, I don't understand why we haven't produced a collective bollock-load of extremely successful rally drivers. You're (Kilcockers) all in the wrong business and need to get yourself down to Ecclestone's office asap as you're clearly in the wrong career.
After much deep reflection I believe it's one of 3 reasons:
Is it that you have a whole bunch of people who suddenly remember there is a toll up ahead and get extremely pissed at the concept (which I can get on board with) of being charged to sit in traffic and are toll-skipping?
Is it that Kilcock is just that bloody awful that you're all extremely fucked off to be getting there and are trying to get killed in a car accident as a happy accident?
is it some collective plot against me. I've never actually been in Kilcock (when I told the Insurer I'd like to drive through there they threatened to triple my insurance), do you just have pictures of my face and my car with target symbols? Do you get together after you've all successfully caused me to vacate my bowels...again.... And then have a jolly good laugh out of it? Certainly the bloke who keeps having to dry clean my skiddes because of your skiddies is doing very well financially, maybe you all work for him.
Anyway, I hate you all but wish to understand you better in the hope of giving you some collective counselling to get you all to calm the fuck down. My dream is that we can one day be friends.
I write this on behalf of every single person who lives west-side of Kilcock (apart from option 3, maybe that's just me).