I (24F) recently started getting back into the dating scene again and so far I’ve been on 2 dates (30M & 26M).
Both the dates ended in a “I think there’s no spark between us, so let’s not take this further and we can be friends”. Of course, I know the be friends part is just a softer rejection.
The feelings have been mutual both times, where I also don’t feel any sort of sparks. On both dates, they were talking a lot about themselves, I couldn’t sense interest nor curiosity. Little things such as holding the door, walking pace (bit of a height difference i was always walking behind them) made me feel like they weren’t here to date. Conversations were comfortable but there was no tension, no butterflies.
There was also no physical contact in either of the dates (eg. hand holding, arm holding, leaning etc.) despite me taking initiative like being in their personal space but they just never met me at the contact part (or is this them telling me i’m not attractive lol)
Anyway! I can’t help but wonder what causes such dates? Are we just not suitable or was there a problem with how we approached it?
How can I try to ensure that first dates don’t feel like a friend hangout?
I mentioned two here because they were recent but I’ve been on a couple dates in the past and they were also the same situation. You can say that I’ve never been on a date and can confidently say that I felt a spark.