So I (26m) had a talk with my mother (53) about my brother (28) who has gone no contact with her. He has a ton of trauma over how shes gone about trying to control his life, and Ive tried to get her to understand what that feels like.
He and I live together and have managed our trauma together and I got no complaints. I try to describe how we navigate disagreements to our mother; but somehow, she twists that into us talking about her being a villain we talk about behind her back. Im talking about how my brother has been happy and making new friends, and she hears "You both hate me"
And I know shes had an abusive mother to deal with growing up. And I dont want to downplay her trauma. But it feels like I cant talk to her about anything without her spinning it to be ABOUT her. Even when she says I can talk to her.
I dont WANT to go no contact with her. But she makes it hard.