My biological mother has been banned from the family property.
I’ve written extensively about my situation here so I’m sorry if you’ve heard most of this already.
I’ve known bm & family for about 17/18 years now. They found me. In the beginning reunion was good. I was accepted into my family with enthusiasm and open arms. I have a huge, loving family, many safe extended family members and even grandparents who hired a lawyer to get me back.
My bm is an addict and has burned many people in the family. She thinks *I* abandoned *her* because I moved away shortly after reunion. I was unhappy where I was and wanted to go back to the city I was raised in, across the country from her. She weaponized my sister and sent me abusive messages through her over this. Ironically, she had plans to move to another country, basically 2 years after reunion. So she had no plans of being a stable presence in my life, yet expected that from me. I stayed in touch with the family and kept my relationships when she left but made little effort with her, while she made none. (She also abandoned my youngest sister in her move, who was still a minor and in HS.)
My bm moved back to the US after Covid hit. Not because of the family but because she found out her abusive white supremacist husband was poisoning her (which his ex wife had tried to warn my bm about.)
Shortly after, I decided to move to be closer to my family too and try to repair our relationship a bit. I felt bad for her and assumed she was sober. Things were amazing for 9 months (funny, right?) Then two elders in our family died. One very suddenly, and one was on hospice. My bm didn’t handle the stress of this well and went back on drugs. She started acting shitty towards the family again. (Though, looking back she always had been a bit weird. I think I was in the fog about her.)
Since taking a step back from her, (going no contact,) I was sort of forced to take a step back from the entire family. But, recently, more people are waking up to her bullshit. She tried to steal two different family properties and has alienated almost everyone. Including children. She’s emotionally abusive.
I guess I’m feeling a little vindicated because my auntie found out about her trying to push me out of the family and she apologized to me. She said my bm isn’t allowed at the family property anymore and that she hopes I will start coming by more. I saw some of my very young cousins while visiting my grandpa and they were so happy to see me they cried! I didn’t realize how much I had been missed. It was a lot. I feel bad that I haven’t been more involved. But I just could not be around my birth mother. It’s damaging to my mental health. I will still avoid the gatherings that she’s at but I’m so glad I can go to the property still.
Just venting. It’s a lot of emotions and I’m just processing everything.