hello everyone, I really need some help.
I’ve been with my boyfriend since 2024 and it’s been amazing. When we first met the first few months he wasn’t emotionally ready for understandable reasons so we stopped talking. This was about four or five months in. also important to note we first started talking when I was in my party phase he had spoke to me when I was literally on a party holiday via social media. When we had stopped talking, I moved to university to a party city because it really had an effect on me as well as for personal reasons. After a month of being at this new university and New city he came back to me saying he wanted to try and he felt like he was ready now and since then we have been together. as I moved halfway through the year for uni I didn’t have many friends so that year I only went out twice and I stuck to myself. when I mean out I meant to the club twice.
There wasn’t really any issues that he had i was was living with only girls in an accommodation that was very quiet. I rarely ever partied but truthfully, I felt so lonely.
Moving onto my second year of university, I moved in to the same accommodation with my friends who had also decided to change university. although we were in the same accommodation we were not living together but I do see them every day and they love to party and talk to everyone. They’re very outgoing however obviously I am with my boyfriend so I stay in majority of the time, and I don’t go to events as much. It’s become an issue since I started this year in September 2025 that he was just unhappy with me being here. my flat had three guys Who I got on with quite well only ever friendly but I would chill in the kitchen with the girls in my flat and the guys and he just didn’t seem to like this. overtime, he has become more okay with it and doesn’t make it an issue really.
Overtime he got a little bit I guess controlling he would moan about what I would wear even to the gym. He states that a sports bra is a sports bra and he wants me to dress modest in the gym. whenever I would go out which is less than once a month to a club or an event he would have an issue with me wearing a short skirt. This has been consistent ever since September. I’ve tried my hardest to stay inside not go out for weeks and not see my friends as majority of what they do is party. I watch what I wear all the time I watch why I post on social media.. although I still do pretty much wear what I want and I post what I want he just acts off with me he will never tell me don’t wear it but he will just be quiet and not speak to me much and won’t really call me and we’re long distance, so it’s really hard to keep that bond when I don’t see him physically.
but also, I have dressed a lot better since I first met him but he’s not completely happy at all.
It’s near enough the end of second year and I haven’t booked my accommodation for third year and not living with my friends this year or last year has made me feel so lonely so I wanted to go view a house with my friends. I had told him previously that I might just distance myself a bit from them because they do you like to party a lot and I don’t want to party that much and also because I have exams at this moment. which I understand is confusing for him as the next week i go to look at houses with them, so I do understand.
It has created a massive issue he says I will never tell you not to live somewhere, but I won’t come and see you. I asked him why and he said because two of your friends they like to party too much and they always bring their guy friends over and I told him so many times it’s the exact same situation as where I’m living now I have my own bedroom in my own toilet I don’t even need to go into the kitchen if they want to bring people over and also I can make my own choices.
Like I said earlier, I barely go out and when I do, he just goes quiet and off with Me for the next two days and I get the worst anxiety the next day.
The issue is that I really do love him and I am aware that I am only 20 so I am young but apart from this is the most perfect guy. It’s just since I’ve come he’s just expects too much of me and I feel like I already give you so much and I miss out on so much for him and he’s not appreciative because the minute something comes up it’s an issue.
It’s got to the point that I don’t know how a lot of people that I live with in this accommodation and a lot of people like uni because we have mainly social gatherings when there’s obviously guys and when there’s a lot of guys I tend to go home. I just feel like I missed out so much and he’s just not appreciative. I feel happier when I am with him physically than I do obviously when I party or I’m with my friends so that’s why I tried to cut it down so much with what I wear and where I go out but it never feels like enough.
We had so many issues in the past where religion was an issue like big issues and we got through them all, but for some reason we just can’t get through this it feels like. It just feels as if it has to be his way or no way. it’s so upsetting because I feel like I sacrifice so much because I genuinely do believe I wouldn’t find someone like him again. It is genuinely just this one part of him that makes me question a lot. I would really like some advice . Thank you.