AITA for wanting my dream wedding?
Long time lurker, first time poster. Real names because I have nothing to fucking hide.
I (35F) just got married to my husband, Marc (38M), a couple weeks ago. Marc went to grad school with Liam (38M). During this time, Liam got married to Max (40M). Max is deaf but Liam communicates with sign language as Max can't speak.
Marc and Liam were close in grad school but grew apart after graduating which Marc attributed to Liam and Max having a child and Liam being flakey.
I met Marc, the love my life, 3 years ago but never once met Liam because Liam made no attempt to meet me. When we were planning our wedding Marc demanded Liam and Max be invited. This was late into our planning process and many invitations had already been sent out. So we agreed to only include Liam.
Before you accuse me of being "homophobic" I had gay friends in college. This has nothing to do with Liam and Max being gay. However, because Max can't hear he would need extra accommodations. For example, an interpreter during all points of the wedding and reception. Plus, like, how are other guests supposed to talk with him? No one else knows the signs, so I am sure it would be weird for everyone involved. I don't know how much an interpreter would cost but we were already having to make cuts to decoration and even delayed our honeymoon so my wedding could be perfect. Becuase of this, we didn't allow Liam to bring any guests. Liam RSVP'd and months go by without him questioning anything about this so I assumed he understood why.
During the wedding, my maid of honor pulled me aside to tell me that Liam was asking guests if they were allowed to bring guests and questioned why they thought his invitation didn't include a +1.
I saw Liam recently at my girlfriends birthday party and he confronted me about why Max wasn't invited. He accused me of being homophobic. I explained that it wasn't because they were gays but Max required significant accommodations that we would not be able to provide. How will he know when to stand or where to go? Also, it would be just unfortunate if he couldn't dance because he can't hear the music.
Liam got angry and accused me of being "insensitive" and walked away. He wouldn't look at me the rest of the night and honestly, I didn't care. I don't know him from Adam, but I won't have someone accuse me of being insensitive or trying to take away my perfect wedding. Marc called Liam and confronted him about how inappropriate it. Marc had my back and reinforced that we couldn't make special accommodations for everything and everyone but Liam refused to hear it.
Marc told me that I am not wrong, but I could have worded my concerns better. My MoH on the other hand said I was correct in what I did and showed compassion by being honest rather than beating around the bush and that Liam and Max need to stop thinking the world caters to them.