Hello people, so I am posting here to discuss few things in my life and also share my experiences. I have posted on this subreddit before and I love this community because of the number of genuine people that are here.
Now my story- an unemployed guy in his early 20's going through existential depression. You can see my older posts to get an better idea. Nowadays I am doing better in certain terms of life and my journey with depression. Now -
I am more functional,
my depressive episodes are less frequent
I feel less lonely & hollow these days.
I am able to become more acceptable & forgiving of myself.
My anxiety is in much better control.
Now these all did not happen in one day or night. It took months of hardwork, therapy sessions, healthy relationship building. They altogether throughout the process made my journey little better. I still struggle with a lot of things and it's an ongoing process.
Apart from that I am still struggling with the perfection loop. The all or nothing mindset is ruining my life heavily and I need help. Now I will give some real examples- Like this morning i had to go to the gym but I did not go because I woke up an hour later, I have not completed my project of the ongoing course yet because i don't feel ready or confident yet. These might sound very surface level problems but I can't describe it in the words the kind of toll these failures take on my mental health and all together they trigger my episodes. I need help this time to be less performative and be genuinely consistent with the common life schedule and quests. That is enough for now.