I have been now several months visiting this sub that has helped me a lot, reading many testimonies of people who have been through the same than I am, and I'm now starting to see not only the patterns in them so in us too.
I was just reading another post and I couldn`t stop thinking this so I decided to start a new one because I'm sure this could be revealing and helpful for many of us.
Their behaviour is textbook, that's right, but here comes what might be difficult to accept, ours too! All of uf mighy have thouht at a certain point no one was going to love them as much as we did, no one was going to do as much for them as we did, they are not going to find another as caring, understanding, patient and loving as we are... guess what? Of course the will!
Stop thinking no one is going to love them as much as we did, we are not specials at all, their new partners are exactly as similar to us as our expwbd are between them, that's their power and their power and their curse.
I have seen lots of videos of David Demars, they tend to bond with narcissists or empathic people, but all of us (everybody in reality) are at same point of the NPD spectrum, so the sooner we realize we aren't special for them, they sooner we will be able to see the full picture.
One of the traits I have seen here and I'm terribly agree with it is the fact they find people who lacks from the sense of being really love, that was my case for example, and I also thought at a point she was being honest with me, she was suffering, she didn't want me to suffer, I was special for her, SHE LOVED ME, but now I see she was the same for the others before me and for sure is being the same for her new boyfriend.
I was reading a post like a said, where the OP was saying that she has been honest with him, she told him she had a problem, she was imposible to fix, the better he could do is running from her, she loved him so much she was sliding her mask for him, and then he said she blocked him everywhere after telling that, the very next day unblocked and had 3 wonderful days and the next one she blocked again and disappeared and two days later she had a new boyfriend.
The mate was so confused he was telling even he was sure this new guy wasn't there before, and she did that because she self sabotage their relationship for not make him suffer because she cared so mucho for him, and reading that I couldn't believe what I was reading, yes mate, she was so concerning about you that two days later she was blowing someone else like it wasn't something that will tear you appart, what kind of person that loves you do something like that? The trauma bond and the brain fog...
Me myself as many other here, have received texts that apparently are written without their mask, in my case she said that she was an alcoholic and have been jumping from relationship to relationship, that she can't stop for a moment to confront herself and settle down to be honest with herself about her life, she needed to be alone for a while, she can't be the kind of girlfriend I deserved, she really wanted to be the person I see in her, and now months after that I discover a few days after that she had a new boyfriend... crazy!
They are bad, I read here a lot, they only live the present moment and in their emotions, but they do things for hurting people, she did the same to her former boyfriend, she took me to a party where she knows he was going to be at, just to let him know she had a new boyfriend, and a month after that I discovered messages trying to appease him and flirting even...
For me she had been evil too, she sent after 5 months no contact from me an Instagram request, I didn't accepted but I could see her Instagram was again open (she closed it because we are coworkers she had lots of comments and likes from other coworkers and photos in bikini and I didn't like that so she didn't or that was she said mirroring me), so I couldn't avoid looking at it, and that's the way I knew about her new boyfriend, just a few days after that "honest" text, she post a picture with him the same day my father died 4 years ago, I'm sure it wasn't a coincidence, she looked for sure that day I uploaded a state in whatsapp remembering my father and saying my great desire was giving him a hug just one more time and for sure that made her jealous because my great desire must be having her back, so she uploaded that picture knowing I wold see it at the proper time.
Now I know for sure she wasn't mine, it was just my turn, as the ones before me had theirs and the futures will, don't idealize their nor you, you want to believe you were special and the love of their lives, that's ok, you want to believe they were being honest when they told you, that's up to you, but consider you were as soul mate and as the love of their live as the many others before you and the many others ahead of you.