Need advice
This is gonna be long fellas…..Well I have been kicking the idea of divorce around for awhile and now I can’t get it out of my head. My spouse has alienated us from all family and friends and she thinks In every fight she had with them she’s right and I’m supposed to blindly support her, she was in the wrong every time. We have 3 grown kids out of the house , all in their 20s, and none of them communicate with her. Two are her bio children 1 is my bio kid, but all 3 speak to me. None called or came to visit her on Mother’s Day. She’s so overbearing that the kid we have at home is walking on eggshells and once this kid leaves it’ll be the same as the others I think. We split once in 2010, I was at work and she said she was leaving me, turns out she was with her ex and that lasted a month before she texted me “I miss you” I filed for divorce then, we went back and forth. 8 months later we were back together, not long after that she was pregnant (kid is 100% mine, unfortunately looks just like me lol). Now we have a 14yr old. We both work, but I pay all the bills and she blows her money I asked her to help and I could get a less stressful job, she won’t. Work asks me to work odd shifts sometimes and I have to find a way out of it because she will bitch about it and start a fight, apparently I’m either cheating or going somewhere else, neither are true. I told her I can quit the job and we can both work at the same place, she got mad and said I was supposed to be a provider, but she complains about how I provide. I make about $160,000 a year before taxes she makes $15 an hr . I’m a big guy, but she did hit me once in one of these fights, I called the cops and they were going to take her to jail but she wouldn’t come out of the house, I didn’t want her to cause a scene with my kid asleep so I told them not to arrest her. She doesn’t care though, she will start a fight in front of our kid and I told her I refuse to fight around the kid so the last time she did I left her and I didn’t want to come back, but she convinced our kid to write me a letter and email it to me, the letter had her fingerprints all over it. I told you all that so you have an idea of what I’ve dealt with. So now I know I can’t go into court without proof of violence or any of that and the other stuff probably means nothing in court. I have about $300,000ish in my retirement account and we owe $40,000 on our house that’s valued at $300,000. I am completely prepared to pay off the house and give it to her in the divorce, how helpful would this be in the end? Also, our kid is afraid of her but won’t say it so my plan is to get us into counseling, reveal all her bullshit and let a counselor get my kids true feelings out and maybe that would help in custody. Honestly the thought of an every other weekend setup to see my kid is more devastating that losing the house and money.
TLDR; I want to divorce my wife , I make $160,000 a year she makes $15per hr. I have $300,000ish in retirement savings she has none. House is almost paid off and worth $300,000ish, I’m willing to pay off and give her the house. I want 50/50 custody. How bad will I get fucked in court?