Wife advice...
wife(f37) and I(34M) opened up in july while I was traveling for work things were rocky guidelines broken about sharing when and being honest about everything. I came back found that she she had slept with a friend(21) from work didnt inform me of any of it despite our daily conversations. she alsonhad dreams of having his kid. amd swears they use protection. we worked things out and talked things through. sex life was great between us and then September hit and we went into a routine of maybe once a month. granted we are or were on completely different work shift she work weekend nights I work week days but her friend was basically staying with us worked the same shift as her. he drove her around everywhere and I noticed a little shift asked about things and was told im jealous and just seeing things fast forward to Jan I ended up getting sick for basically the whole mid to end of month could barely work it was kicking my ass. and found out work could move my location and we didnt want to move the kids from their schools and it was out of state things for like a year. and started discussing things with her and I woke up one night I woke up with a nightmare about he leaving me for him and I confronted her about it. and she comes out saying how she loves me but wasnt attracted to me and I turned her off amd our past issues that I personally thought were buried were causing issues and that she has been sleeping with him this whole time(I did not know we are supposed to inform the other if we do she has never done that besides once when she asked permission) and used protection but flushed the condom after and he put the wrapper in his bag to dispose of later. but wants to work on things. and will separate from him and create space. fast forward to now a pregnancy test in feb and doc visit she is 11w1 day... amd concieved when I was sick and dragging my ass to work apologizing to her because i couldn't be there for her. she doesnt believe in abortion and I would never ask her to do something like that was prone to miscarriages but is past when that happens... the friend is kinda obsessive and is trying to control her eating habits and everything (would be his 1st child) I love this woman. granted i havent been with anyone else the entire time we've been open amd just started talking to a girl. wife gets jealous about the two times we have spent together. once was like 5 hours the other because we went to mom amd pop restaurants. no sex just kissing and touching which I told her everything like we agreed upon...I just need advice on trying to cope amd deal with without losing my mind and getting super depressed everytime I hear him talking to her belly or her about pregnancy. deal with them being around each other without thinking things are not going on. especially when im gone for work. she has stopped working to focus more on us, our marriage and our 3 kids... I just dont know how to process this without drinking myself numb. I dont want to take it out on the child because it isnt its fault at all....my wife feels shitty amd a terrible person and constantly apologizes but idk. help? I do go to therapy and started it back around oct, Nov because of them and some work related things