How do I actually make the leap between eating well but to a meal plan, versus eating closer to intuitively?
I was discharged from ED services over a year ago and I've been doing I think half-decent? My weight's fluctuated here and there but never gone back below healthy etc, but because I'm so used to my meal plan-esque items and amounts of food I'm finding it really hard to be spontaneous and eat a little more intuitively because it all feels 'outside of the meal plan' in a way I'm struggling to 'justify' as necessary. But I also feel simultaneously I'm so so nearly ready to the point where surely I should just take a leap of faith - like, is anyone really ever that ready? Surely I just have to do it a little scared, like in much earlier recovery.
To be clear, full intuitive eating wouldn't work for me both for ED reasons (I think I'm still at risk of ending up under eating), but also because I'm autistic and have ADHD which means I can get obsessive with eating the same thing/can eat for dopamine/can forget to eat. So I'd want to keep a baseline structure of 3 square meals and a minimum of 1 snack per day. What I'm after more specifically is the ability to eat different amounts every day without freaking out - eg. sometimes I could have a bigger cheese toastie for my lunch and thats okay, its normal, its nothing to even think about.
Does that make sense ahaha? Any advice would be so so much appreciated ❤️