Afraid ayahuasca will make me want to quit my job — has anyone been in this situation?
Hi everyone,
I’ve booked an ayahuasca retreat in Spain in a couple of weeks, and I’m starting to feel a bit anxious about it — not about the ceremony itself, but about what it might bring up.
When I booked it, I was in a different headspace. Since then, things have shifted. I work in finance in London, and lately my job feels very empty and misaligned. Nothing is objectively “wrong” — it’s stable, well-paid, and part of a bigger plan I’ve been following.
My goal is financial independence, and I’m actually on track to leave in about two years. So logically, it makes sense for me to stay, keep earning, and exit with a solid cushion.
The problem is… I already feel quite disconnected from the work. And I’m worried that ayahuasca might amplify that feeling rather than help me cope with it.
If I’m honest, part of me was hoping it would help me endure these next couple of years with more acceptance or peace. But now I’m afraid it might do the opposite — make the misalignment even clearer and harder to ignore.
So I guess my question is:
- Has anyone gone into ayahuasca hoping it would help them tolerate a situation, but instead it pushed them away from it?
- Did it make you act on those feelings quickly, or did you still feel in control of your decisions afterwards?
- Is it possible to take insights from the experience without immediately blowing up your current life?
I’m definitely going to go through with it — I feel called to it — but I’d really appreciate hearing from people who’ve been in a similar position, especially around career or big life decisions.
Thank you 🙏