I 24F don’t know if I should say yes to my boyfriend’s 28M proposal. I’m conflicted?
I spent the majority of our relationship practically begging to get married but after a few years I realized he just wasn’t ready. He kept telling me he wasn’t. And I respected that. But we have a kid together - a 4 year old.
So after failed conversations I kind of just gave up on the idea of marriage. I think my frontal lobe developed and I grew up. I realized I wasn’t sure if this was the man I wanted to be with ultimately. He has financial debt that relates to gambling. Which I’ve helped pay off in full once but he racked it back up (this was years ago however he still has this debt). He no longer gambles.
I don’t want to join finances.
Anyways, he mildly surprised me with a proposal. I knew he was proposing. He was making it very obvious with the days prior to the proposal. When he did proposal i told him no. We talked about it afterwards and i told him that i would think about it.
I love this man and i don’t see myself with anyone else. But it feels like I pressured him into marriage. I spent the entire first four years of our relationship practically begging. We have been together for 6 years now. And the proposal was very low effort. I know that sounds shallow but I’ve always told him how I wanted to be proposed too and which ring I wanted. He didn’t do any of that. He knew it was low effort he admitted to it himself. He stated that he didn’t try hard because he didn’t feel like he needed too but that his affection and his effort towards me and our family was genuine and real.
I feel like I’m sending mixed signals and I hate that but I don’t know how I feel.