Hi all,
I’m F24, never been in a relationship before. I’m bisexual. Lately I have found it so difficult to get along with any of my friend groups, new and old, due to the fact that I’m still a virgin. I can feel their faces and looks when I say that relationship is not what I look for, they say go for casual and I also say I don’t do that. Or that my friends have had or start getting sexual experiences and they ask for my body count. At some point I don’t want to appear as a weirdo I just say 1 and it was a long relationship with a girl. I got excluded from a lot of conversations just because I lack them. Most conversations are just about hookups, people you find attractive, which guys are hitting on you or the craziest sex stories you’ve recently experienced. I feel like I should go out of my way to get it done over with, and that I’m running out of time, so I’ve been getting on dating apps, gone out on dates with a few guys (I feel guys tend to be more open to you being a virgin than girls), but felt absolutely nothing, no physical attraction at all. I had fun with them but the idea of them making a move makes me very uncomfortabl I can cry.
In the past I used to have crushs on girls, but never thought about sex with them, kissing was my maximum fantasy.
What if I never want to have sex? What if I’m asexual? I’m just fine being on my own, why do I feel like I’m doing everything to make up for the fact that I lack sexual experiences. I just really wish to free myself from all these looks and social pressure by getting a guy to take it away but I’m also really scared and hopeless. Is it wrong that I want to be loved romantically but without sex?
Thank you in advance