Being distracted/overstimulated by my own body parts!
Ugh! I'm autistic and ADHD, as well as hypermobile, and for the past year or so my whole system has been even more crazy than usual, so I suspect perimenopause.
I swear, my tits have gotten bigger, and because my brain is the way it is, I can't filter out the visual noise of my boobs being right f...ing there, in line of sight, near constantly! Not to mention the physical feeling of the weight and bounce that's somehow just alien sometimes. And don't get me started on the temperature fluctuations, meaning more sweat, meaning more cases of skin on arm and breast sticking together as if glued on purpose! I hardly wear nice bras anymore, mostly sports bras because control, but I have dense tissue, so I can't even get much compression.
I will be seeing my doc soon to discuss estrogen and whatnot, but I can't help worrying about peri treatment making them even bigger. I do not want them bigger! I wish I could just take them off, get a break from time to time. I'm pretty sure that if a mastectomy is ever recommended to me, I'll go at least a whole summer before considering reconstruction.
Anyway, just needed to rant to people who get me. My partner is great and all, but he doesn't *know* know.