Confused about if I’m queer enough
I am a little worried about using the queer label because I feel like I’m not queer enough? Like I’m worried about encroaching in other people’s spaces.
Up till 2024 Ive only been in hetero relationships. In 2025-2026 I was in a never meet LDR with a NB person. They wanted to transitioning for decades to an androgynous appearance and I came to the conclusion that as long as they had a penis I’d still be attracted to them regardless of what they want to transform to. Because to me PIV penetration is what I like. If they wanted implants (which they talked about a bunch. They also had no interest in removing their penis) I’d be ok.
I’ve been with women in a group play before and know I’m not attracted to vaginas.
Then we broke up. So now I’m like “am I queer?” Because I’m still attracted to hetero presenting men and my ex was hetero presenting because of their work. I tried swiping on other genders in person but I feel nervous but also not as attracted to them.
Anyways, last night I met a new friend and they asked me about my orientation and I stumbled over my answer. I said “I think I’m queer, but idk if I can use that title. So I’m just attracted to who I’m attracted too I guess?” And they invited me to hang in queer spaces to find out. So is that not a sufficient answer? What if I disappoint them by being like “I guess I do just like straight men.”
Like I do believe I am fluid in some aspect of attracted. My ex and my previous therapist said that me questioning my sexuality and saying “I’m attracted to who I’m attracted too” was queer enough and I’m over thinking labels.