AITAH for refusing to buy my friend $200 boots after she expected me to pay just because I sometimes treat her?
For context, my best friend (28F) and I (28F) went shopping yesterday evening. We went to a store called Boot Barn, which specializes in western-style attire. I work on my farm during the summer when I don’t have help, so I needed a new pair of boots. My friend—let’s call her Jenny—asked if she could come along, and I said yes, but I made it very clear that I was only buying a new pair of boots for myself and nothing else. I’m currently on a tight budget and really need to save money. While I do sometimes treat her to small things when we go out together, like coffee or inexpensive items, this trip was strictly for my boots. I typically wear Ariat boots, which are my personal preference, and they usually cost between $200–$300, so I already knew this would be a significant purchase for me.
While we were there, we started browsing boots together because she had mentioned wanting her first pair, and I was happy to help her look. She eventually found a pair she liked, which were on the pricier side, but I assumed she planned to buy them herself. I then went back to look at the pair I had been considering. A few moments later, she came over to me and said, “Come on, you don’t need those—you already have a decent pair of boots on.” I explained that while mine may look fine, they’re worn out, and I’m perfectly capable of deciding whether I need a new pair. She then grabbed my arm and asked me to come look at the boots she had picked out. When we got there, she said, “You should buy these for me since I didn’t bring any cash, I don’t have my cards, and I have no money right now.” I reminded her that I had already said I couldn’t spend more than what I was about to spend on my own boots. She gave me a smug look and walked away.
I went back to the boots I had chosen, tried them on, and loved them, so I bought them. They’re beautiful, but more importantly, they’re practical work boots that I genuinely needed. Afterward, I told her we needed to leave because I had to get home to make dinner. She came out to the car, but the entire drive to her house was silent. When we arrived, I asked her what was wrong, and she said, “I thought it was pretty shitty of you not to buy those boots for me when you always buy me something when we go shopping.” I responded by saying, “I am not your mother. You’re 28 years old. I’m not responsible for buying you things all the time—I do it to be nice.” She got out of the car with an attitude and walked away. Since then, she hasn’t texted or called. I tried calling her this morning, assuming things had cooled down, but when I asked what she was doing today, she said, “I’m busy. I don’t think I’m going to be able to do anything,” and then hung up, which is very unlike her.
Afterward, I spoke to my mother about the situation. I explained that the only things I’ve bought my friend in the past year were an Owala cup for Christmas and a few small items here and there, like coffee—nothing extravagant. My mom believes my friend’s behavior was disrespectful, especially considering the boots she wanted were around $225, which would have come out to about $250 with tax. Now I’m left wondering if I did something wrong, or if her reaction was as unreasonable as it felt.
Edit:At work had to rewrite because people were on my ass about spelling and the word wall lmao which I completely understand
Edit 2. Lately, she’s also been “forgetting” her wallet more often, which is starting to feel unusual, and I honestly don’t know where this behavior is coming from. It’s confusing because this has never really been an issue before, and now it suddenly feels like a pattern. I’m starting to question myself and wonder if I’m overreacting, but at the same time, I’ve never spent more than about $30–$40 on her at most and even that was pushing my limit so being expected to cover something as expensive as boots just feels completely out of line.