I feel like a failure but also want my life back
Hi all. I’ve posted before. To recap, back in November I moved away from my husband & cat to come take care of my elderly parents. My brother was living with them but has brain cancer and previous to November, was asymptomatic & caring for them. He has now been in the hospital or a SNF since Nov. my husband took a LOA to come out here about 2 weeks ago as I wanted to get my brother out of the nursing home & see if we could care for him along with my parents. He’s only 54. He’s always lived with my parents. My dad is on hospice & is getting more confused. He also falls. My mom is pleasantly demented. I do the cleaning, shopping, meds, etc. as they can’t do much. I’m also working remotely. So we bring my brother home & it doesn’t go well. He had 8 falls and needs help to walk, toilet, and assistance with dressing and meal prep. My husband and I struggled to even get him up one day. Then he became confused and we had to call 911. He was admitted last week and then sent back to the SNF. I thought I could care for all of them. I cannot. It’s not safe for my brother . He needs 24/7 care. I keep explaining this to my parents and reminding them about his diagnosis. I am also burning out. I left my entire life in Utah to be here. I’ve sold their house since I’ve been here (they lived there for 60 years and it was a hoarding situation) & moved them into a clean home where we now all live. I reduced my work hours. I honestly cannot do this anymore. I feel terrible about the fact that my brother needs to stay in a nursing home. How do you get over this guilt? How do you get over feeling like you are letting everyone down? Thanks for reading.