i think i may have had something happen to me as a child.
this has only occurred to me recently after realising some things i did as a child weren’t normal. i was a bedwetter until i was 11 & had extreme night terrors until that age too. majority of them surrounded my dad and i would scream & cry & even screamed ‘no daddy’ in one & had no recollection the morning after. i used to wake up with no knickers on & my bed was wet through. my dad got found at 11 (by me) that he’d been taking inappropriate pictures of my stepsister. this already was an extremely traumatic thing to go through, after being confronted he left. my night terrors & bedwetting stopped shortly after but i thought it was just an age thing & that i was maturing. i’ve always been hypersexual since i was a child too. the first time i had sex was at 14 with a guy 4 years older than me & i started watching porn from around 6 years old. i’ve also always had extremely intrusive thoughts too, ones always surrounding sex & that make me extremely uncomfortable. i got raped by someone at 15, and after that these feelings started coming up where i realised some things in my childhood weren’t normal. i always feared my dad horrendously too & he put me under alot of manipulation to the point i hated my mum because he told me horrible things about her. there was also a time where it was just me & him in the house & we put a film on and i fell asleep on the couch with him next to me. i woke up soaked in my own urine & i always thought the fact that he comforted me about it was just because he was a good person, but now thinking about it, how would he have not known i peed myself when i was sat right next to him? i only just spoke to my boyfriend about it, because i’ve had suspicions for a little bit but thought i was just being stupid. saying it out loud made me realise how bad it sounds. i’m not asking for anyone to tell me whether it happened or not, but i feel like i’m driving myself crazy & i feel abit clueless on how to approach this situation.