Hello! F(20) and M(22). We were in a relationship for 2 years, constantly on and off, and it was not healthy. Throughout the relationship, my mental health drastically decreased to the point where I felt like SH was the only way to cope with my problems. As my mental health worsened, I also became a worse version of myself and said things I deeply regret.
He was constantly using my SH against me, comparing me to my abusive father, and threatening to break up with me because of my rapist. He would get extremely angry if I didn’t send nudes. If I was upset, it would turn into an argument. He broke up with me multiple times and got with other women, cheated on them, and then blamed me. He broke up with me when my dog died, would block or ignore me for weeks, and so much more. I could go on, but those were the most common patterns.
I stayed because I always try to see the good in people, and I loved him. For 2 years, I begged him to change. Then we broke up for 3–4 months. During that time, I talked to other people, but I was never mentally stable enough for anything serious. He got into another relationship, and when it wasn’t going well, he came back. We became close(I thought), and he constantly asked for nudes. I gave in, only to find out he was still in that relationship, and he blamed his cheating on me.
A month later, we started talking again and fell back into extreme arguments over small things, like a Roblox game. I finally said I was done. Two days later, he sent me a long message promising he would change, and even said his brother would hold him accountable. For about two weeks, things were actually good.
But in the back of my mind, he was still the same person who had hurt me so deeply—someone who left me when my best friend died and when I was getting kicked out of my house.
Now I’m wondering: was I wrong? He was finally starting to change, and those two weeks felt good after two years of pain. But should I have stayed, or was leaving the right choice?