u/DifferentFlight246

Hey everyone,

This is my very last class before I graduate, so I’m trying to make sure I know what I’m getting into. Any insight on his teaching style for 490 or the difficulty of the exams would be huge. I’ve taken a class with him before (back in the winter) and thought he was pretty easy-going, but I’m a bit nervous about the 490 material since it's the 6-week condensed version. For those who have taken him for this specific course. Any thoughts would be appreciated

I (F, 22) recently told my parents that I don’t want to get married or have kids. This isn’t something impulsive; I’ve thought about it for a long time. For the past 10 years, I’ve helped take care of my step-younger siblings, and while I don’t regret it, I don’t want to spend another 18+ years raising children.

My mom took it really hard. She said things like I’m being selfish and “I gave birth to you, so don’t you think you should have kids?” She even suggested I could just have kids and send them to her to raise, which doesn’t make sense to me at all especially because she’s often sick and doesn’t consistently check in on me as it is. She even went on to suggest that I don't have to marry the guy; I could just have kids with him, be it just one.

My dad initially seemed okay with it, but later said he was really hurt and that it broke his heart to her on the phone making me think the one time my dad reaches out to my mom who mind you don't talk at all is when he is expressing his frustration on a decision that has nothing to do with him to my mom and my mom agrees with him on that topic.

Where I’m from, it’s basically expected that women have kids, but moving to the U.S. has really broadened my perspective and made me realize that this isn’t the life I want.

Now here’s the part that’s really getting to me:
I haven't seen my mom in 10 years, but I talk to her on the phone. I kinda grew emotionally apart from my mom, and I couldn't care less about how she feels about my decision, how she feels doesn't resonate with me. My mom will bring up the topic on the phone call, get emotional, then suddenly change the subject or act like everything is fine. When she does that, it feels like she’s dismissing me completely, like we’re avoiding the conversation because it makes her uncomfortable, not because it’s resolved. I can feel it in the tone that she isn't interested in having any further conversations with me.

On top of that, she rarely calls me, but when she does, it’s often to express disappointment about this decision.

I feel like I can’t talk to her the same way anymore, and I’m starting to pull back emotionally because of it.

Am I wrong for feeling dismissed and frustrated by this? And how do you deal with parents who won’t accept a major life decision like this but also won’t have a real conversation about it?

Any advice or outside perspectives would help.