So I have recently for the first time applied for ow and everything went smoothly I have a case worker and I was approved on the 30th my payment was also issued yesterday morning when will the money most likely hit my acvount(td)
I am 19 years old and haven’t loved myself since I was 10 years old, my life was never terrible won’t go into detail but I had my fair share of bullying and home problems but it was always manageable. But for some reason in life I can’t find it what most people have I don’t if drive or motivation is the right word , like I don’t have a spark feel like I was just born without it , I’ve worked made money,have had a gf for a while , I lost alot of weight and look good now through all of that I’ve not once felt happiness or a living in the moment feeling. But no matter what I can’t shake the feeling that I’m not really here no matter what happens I’m always down I’m always in my head wondering and worrying about things that I can’t know or control . No matter how well I do in my life it’s like can’t be happy. I mean I can fake it pretty well I’m there for everyone and help anyone regardless of what I’m dealing with
And again it doesn’t make me feel any different
It’s like why can’t I shake this feeling of numbness no matter what I try I’ve been to therapy, I’ve been on meds ,even tried being a stoner. Like I don’t know how long I can live a life I really feel like I’m just spectating. I know this may sound confusing but as I said I’m always thinking it’s hard to stay on track.