Throwaway in case anyone in this story is on here.
So my (30f) brother (28m) just had his first baby with his fiancé, Leah (25f). She gave birth 2 months ago.
We live very close to each other, a few houses down in the same neighborhood, so I spend a lot of time at my brother and Leah’s place. I did keep my distance after the birth, just out of respect for Leah’s needs as a new mother with a newborn. But after a couple weeks I was asked to start coming back over.
So my brother and Leah have a golden retriever, Denver, who is 7 years old. He was Leah’s dog prior to her relationship with my brother. Overall, he is very sweet and well-mannered. However, the few times I’ve been over to their place since Leah had the baby, she has been AWFUL to the dog. Like, he could wag his tail and she’ll start screaming and swearing at him. Now, I want to make sure I make absolutely clear that I am well aware that many postpartum mothers experience uncharacteristic hatred for their pets, and that it can be a common postpartum symptom. However, it’s gotten to a point where my brother feels absolutely awful for Denver, as do I. I’ve asked my brother if Leah ever takes her anger out on the dog physically, to which he said “I mean, she’ll kind of shove or kick him out of the way sometimes.” It actually breaks my heart, because a part of me knows it isn’t technically Leah’s fault, but also…this poor dog.
So I told my brother to try and tactfully bring up to Leah that I could take Denver and kind of “temporarily adopt” him while the two of them adjust to parenthood. And then whenever they’d want him back, or just to see him, he’d be right down the street at my place. I figured this was the best, most sensitive solution in the interest of both parties.
Well, that did NOT go over well, and my brother called me in a frenzy after he proposed the idea. He told me that Leah basically flipped shit on him for even suggesting the dog might need to leave the house. So I guess in a bit of a panic, he told Leah it was all my idea. Which I mean…I get it. He needs to save face as much as he can, especially with such a fragile situation at home. But in an unexpected escalation, I guess Leah called her parents and told them I was accusing her of animal abuse. Quite literally have never uttered those words. In fact, I’ve never spoken to Leah directly about the dog. I don’t burden her with anything like that, it’s always been conversations with my brother only. Her parents have called me a few times since and basically told me off for making a freshly postpartum mother feel bad about herself for no reason.
I truly thought I was handling this as tactfully as I possibly could. I recognized the need for Denver to be in a better environment while maintaining an understanding that Leah is postpartum, and experiencing emotions she has no control over. But now I’m wondering if I overstepped. So AITA for not just minding my business here?