u/Desteal11

Ok, so I've been crushing on this man for 7 months about now. As of late I have tried to be more forward about my crush, but it really feels like he's not catching on.

I mean I blush every time we talk, unvoluntarily. I can't stand still when we talk. I know that I have a very weird way of flirting. I've been told by multiple people, and I'm an awkward person, so my flirting is awkward. But I have straight up told this man I have to cook him tofu at some point because he said he hasn't had good tofu (I'm vegitarian).

Most recently when he said he needs to read more, but he doesn't have an open porch like I do to read on, I literally told him he can always read on my porch. There have been multiple occasions where I have said stuff similar to that.

But he just doesn't seem to get the hint. And before I have people saying that he just doesn't like me back, the way he acts around me says otherwise. My parents have caught him multiple times on his walks specifically slow down in front of our house, and look for me on the porch.

He also smiles so much bigger when he sees me compared to anyone else. I mean this man has had hour long conversations with me when he was planning on going for a walk, or right after he had. One thing that really sticks out is when he said jokingly he was putting his foot down about me watching a show. That's an insane thing to say to some who is just a friend.

So I know he at least likes me a little more then a friend. Maybe he's waiting for me to make a move, idk. I just honestly want him to pick up on the hints that are only getting more obvious, and make the first move.

Maybe he is just oblivious to all my flirtation.

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u/Desteal11 — 7 days ago

After my unexpected lead replacement 3 months post op, I've been stressed lately. For some background I've had a pacemaker for almost 20 years. I am currently 21. In December they moved my pacemaker up by my heart, and replaced both my leads. In March i had emergency lead replacement surgery about a month after returning to work.

Here's the thing what happened to me is more rare then just having a lead come loose. Some of the slack was sucked into my right atrial velve, and pulled at the lead screw. I'm scared that a fall at my job after trying to get a dog in a crate might have caused it.

I work at a doggy daycare. It is a very physical job. I have to get in the middle of dogs to separate them. I have to use my body weight to body block dogs that weigh more then I do. I guess I'm just terrified that doing my job to it's full capacity could cause one of my leads to get messed up again.

It would be greatly appreciated if anyone also has a physically demanding job and has some insight. Or if anyone has good advice on it in general. Thanks in advance!

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u/Desteal11 — 10 days ago

Hi again G.

The song I wrote today is called "It Would Be Devastating". And so here it is in all it's glory.

it's been seven months since the flames were reignited

we talk almost every god damn day

there's no way that you don't see the way I blush when you start speaking

fuck I can't stand still when you've got your eyes on me

And I've never waited this long to tell them (tell him, tell him)

Never let my crushes hide too well

at this point I'm bursting from the seams (just tell him, tell him)

I'm bursting from the seems just to tell you

don't act like you don't treat me different then all your friends on the block

I hear the way you laugh at all my jokes

you smile so much bigger when your eyes just glance at me

you stand still for so long just to fucking talk to me on the street

And I've never waited this long to tell them (tell him, tell him)

Never let my crushes hide too well

at this point I'm bursting from the seams (just tell him, tell him)

I'm bursting from the seems just to tell you

tell you I like you

tell you I wanna know what happens in your brain

ask you if you feel the same

god if you don't feel the same it would be devastating

I'd never be the same

And I've never waited this long to tell them (tell him, tell him)

I can't belive I still haven't told you

Never let my crushes hide too well

at this point I'm bursting from the seams (just tell him, tell him)

I'm bursting from the seems just to tell you

god I think I should tell you

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u/Desteal11 — 10 days ago

Hey G.

I've been thinking about you while I watch the little dogs play. I am a good employee so obviously my mind drifting to you doesn't distract me from interrogating the body language of each pup.

I close today which means I won't leave untill 7:45pm, unless I'm cut of course. I stand there wondering if I'll still get to see you tonight. It's always up in the air on days I work. I don't think I will see you tonight, but I want to. You are one of the only people I'd be ok with seeing me in my work clothes right after work. You don't know the honor that that is.

I could be exhausted, have no energy to talk to anyone, but I'd still have the emotional bandwidth to talk to you. Let's hope that I get to see you tonight. I'm ok sitting in the impossible hope that I have.

I'll continue thinking of you as I talk to the little k9s, and keep the mischievous ones out of trouble.

Your neighbor,

K

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u/Desteal11 — 16 days ago