Can you develop OSDD without being ab*sed as a kid? Using myself as an example
As the title says, I was wondering how possible it is to form DID or OSDD without experiencing abuse?
I've put some exposition on myself in the comments
Few TWs I guess?? Mentions of chronic illness, bullying, brief gore, etc.
My possible childhood 'trauma' is very hard to identify, since my brain has blocked all of those key moments out, but I can kind of piece together that they're what's affecting me. For example, when I was around 7 or 8, my older brother by five years got diagnosed with CFS. I remember a few flickers of memories, like feeling sad and lonely that he wasn't at school (we shared a primary/elementary school, and as we'd grown up we'd always been incredibly close, so having him abruptly separated from me could've been traumatic, especially since he got more of my parents' attention than me and I was a needy kid that was used to being clingy, but I seriously don't think it'd be enough to sever my state of self I'd think)
I remember drawing this depressing picture of me standing in his doorway with a toy while he was asleep in bed, and one time I asked my mum if he was going to die, stuff like that. Now while that's pretty sad and maybe traumatic (again, I can't tell if this is trauma for me since I don't really feel anything for it and don't remember really grasping it much when I was young too, describing it like this makes it sound more traumatic than it was - I've always been apathetic when things pass a certain level of trauma, like my mum having a heart clot thing once and me being fine and dandy when I went to visit her because I didn't understand the danger, even if I was 9 or smth by then).
But anyway, by coincidence or not, these imaginary friends popped up to keep me company a while later, whilst I was also going through some friendship problems I'll explain in a sec, and I remember talking to them in my head, 'seeing' them very vividly in my head, etc, and they rarely took the front space thing, only during times when I was upset, like the blood test I mentioned lol
I also remember mentioning my imaginary friends to my parents during dinner one time, and them getting immediately, seriously concerned and worried, like they knew I was a mental enough kid to get schizophrenia or something, asking me stuff like "but you know they're not real, right?" and me replying of course not, I just talk to them when I'm bored but I know they're not real, while in my head very adamantly thinking nope they're real, and then there was this 'feeling' (can't describe these things any other way, it's like a knowledge of other alters' emotions, like intuition) of one of them going like yeah maybe you shouldn't mention us, which I then didn't, or more so whenever I wanted to they kind of went hey let's do something else
Like very often my alters/friends would play with me and entertain me, and I was never in control of what they would say or do, which I found very fun (wish it still was)
Except I did mention them to my friend before then, who I'll call Heather cuz she used that name a lot in those make-belief games of ours. Heather and I were attached at the hip, the closest that best friends could ever possibly get (both autistic, she's diagnosed with tendencies, I'm in process of ASD assessment), we were infamous in our primary/elementary school, and we of course had some friendship drama between us, being so close
So with my friend Heather, because we were so close, we were pretty possessive of each other. And whenever our other friends took us from each other, like when Heather's other best friend wanted to play with her and didn't like me, we'd get into fights over each other. We got really snarky, or basically bullied each other, and even got into physical fights (I kicked her shins or dragged her by her shirt collar, she retaliated by punching me in the chest, whilst I was very asthmatic, etc etc), all while we were like... year three when it kicked off? That's about 7 or 8. Mental kids. Anyway, this was also, coincidentally, around the time my brother fell ill. And I don't know if it's possible, but I kind of remember the day my OSDD started. Or more like I can guess what day it did, if it did.
One day, Heather had somehow managed to create a game that involved literally all of our friends except me, and lasted a few days excluding only me from the game even when I begged to join, so I sat on my own in my own loneliness and sadness while the brother thing was going on, and I'm wondering if that moment did the breaking? Because I'd always been a social, needy kid, and for years I'd been fighting to keep a friendship and it kicked off and then I basically lost my brother, but not really? And I still can't figure it out, cuz there weren't any particular memories I was avoiding, I was just avoiding feeling lonely, so I don't think that could split my brain, probably could just go as far as dissociating me maybe? I mean I did watch some pretty traumatic stuff as a kid too around that time, like the gacha stuff that had me SH-ing by 10, or watching rainbow dash get her organs ripped out one by one by the cupcakes pinkie pie, and I also watched 🌽 as a kid, like a lot, it was an addiction, and that dissociated me and made me feel uncomfortable existing, so idk. It still just doesn't feel like it's enough to create a rift in my personality
But anyway, I'm posting this because I'm really confused and looking for the personal opinions of people who have this disorder, or something like it, and if your opinion is that you don't think I have it, I'd appreciate that too (not looking for an answer, or a type of trauma, as said in this group thing's guidelines, just some opinions, I plan to go with this to a professional in the future, I just want a discussion right now, as it's also an interesting question).