I have been a SAHM for three years with one child. I have struggled a lot with my mental health for about ten years. I have been on lexapro for about two years and while that has helped to a degree, I feel myself feeling angry, annoyed and depressed a lot more lately.
I feel horrible, but I feel like my entire day is counting down until I get a break. I feel disconnected and overstimulated most of the time and then at night I feel really guilty. My son is at the age where he wants constant attention and is always asking for something. I try to engage with him as much as I can, I take him out for fun activities 2-3 times a week, and he is outside multiple times a day. I do not have a village and I have not been away from him for more than 7 hours since he was born. If I want to be able to sit and relax, I have to put on the TV (which then I feel guilty for, but it is always for a short period and low stimulation)
Now he is getting to the point where he doesnt want to nap. I am trying to instill quiet time, but even then it is a struggle to make him stay in his room so I can decompress. I NEED time away. I feel myself getting SO angry so quick. Like angry to the point where I could punch a hole in the wall. And no, I never hit my child.
My husband WFH and he tries to take the load off of me when he gets off, but he has a stressful job and sometimes complains about it. I still feel like I am on duty. I understand where he is coming from, but I feel like my feelings and stress are minimized because I do not have a job. I feel like my house is always just negative.
I have no sex drive. I have no motivation most of the time aside from cleaning my house. I just want to lay around and rot all day.
I hate feeling like this. I want to feel happy and I want to truly enjoy this time with my son. I want to add that I do not always feel this way, but I feel if my son does not nap or do quiet time, I feel myself spiraling bad.
How do you go about burnout? I want to put him in daycare or a program a few days a week, but my husband wants to wait until he goes to preschool next fall.
Tia!