My son is 15 years old he’s a freshman in highschool and ever since he was able to talk he would just lie all the time about literally anything. Always got into trouble at school. Now that he is 15 it’s becoming concerning. He is smart but his grades are constantly slipping, he won’t do any work until there’s a zero in the grade book and his sisters remind him. We will speak to him about everything we are concerned about and then he will say he will do better and then does it all over again. Then when we ask him why he didn’t it again, he will gaslight us and say we never spoke to him about it. I will literally WATCH him do something and he will try to gaslight me into thinking I didn’t. One thing about him is he is obsessed with being cool. He wants all the brands, he applies for every sport (even if he doesn’t like it) just to say that he is on a team. He tells people to like and comment on his posts, he changes how he talks to fit what’s cool.
One of his sibling vapes (they are old and grown and able to make their own decisions) but they had lost their vape. We spent two weeks asking him if he took it and he said no everytime, very very convincingly. Lo behold we get a package in the mail with 3 vapes ordered from DHGATE. We took his phone and found videos of him vaping in the school bathroom with the vape that was stolen from his older sibling. We confronted him with the evidence and he continued to lie to our faces saying that wasn’t the older siblings vape. After hours of lying he made up a story about how he was being bullied at school into buying his bullies vapes. He is not being bullied. We then went more through his camera roll and found out it’s the entire lacrosse team vaping. Whatever he apologized wrote us paragraphs after paragraphs explaining how he’s knows it’s bad and he’s sorry and on and on about how he’s going to change and that he will gain our trust back. two weeks later we caught him with a vape in his room. He begins lying again saying it was an old vape from the last time we caught him. We take his phone again and we found new videos of him vaping in his room and in his school with his friends.
We told him we were going to his school to tell the coach their students are vaping and someone is selling our son vapes and he only focuses on that. He’s not ashamed or mad or sad that we caught him again. He doesn’t care about anything. He just sits there and says “I will not leave you alone until you tell me you’re not going to the school”
We told him it’s not even about the vape at this point, it’s about the continuous pathological lying. He then states he didn’t lie. He is not understanding that the LYING is the issue. I don’t know what to do he’s 15 and he’s been like this since a kid. Will this be forever? Is he a narcissist? A pathological liar forever?
Normally he’s good with his siblings they joke around and are good, he loves our cat. I can’t tell if it’s performative or if it’s genuine. He’s such a good liar. Please give your ideas. I’m just so tired. He lies SO MUCH he could say the sky is blue and I’d genuinely not believe him. It’ll be about anything. Everytime he misses an assignment it’s always the teachers fault. His exam grade was bad, it’s his teachers fault. We have convo after convo and NOTHING EVER REGISTERS TO HIM.