Advice for unstable spouse
I've pretty much decided I can't keep up this cycle of conflict avoidance and lack of accountability. I asked for better 4 years ago and now both in individual therapy. Both come to realize that a lot of my spouse's behavior in the relationship has been really manipulative controlling. I'm in an environment where no matter how much I've tried to reassure in the past 8 years, I'm constantly told that I need to leave or that they think that I could find someone better or that they don't know why I stick around and tolerate them.
The thing is, my partner has expressed past thoughts of suicide and that's always made me feel a little bit uneasy. So I guess I'm looking for any kind of resources or advice on how to navigate this. In our relationship, conflict has never been repaired and it's always led to a breakdown sometimes to the point where I think I may need to call paramedics. I'm realizing just how much it's stressed me out overall of this time and how on edge it makes me because I feel like if I don't just keep my head down and not say anything there will always be chaos. But I'm realizing that this is not a way to live and I find myself questioning my reality whenever things blow up and then the very next day I'm supposed to move on as if nothing happened.
I'm questioning what the best way to set my partner down and tell them this is. Mostly because they don't have any friends or family and I've been the only person that is an adult that they ever talk to. According to them " they don't like people and they don't trust people. Because people always eventually turn on them" so it really is just me and our kids. But I feel like this is not a healthy example of a relationship, even with kids involved...
Would I be better off waiting and just riding it out to try to make things better for everyone? I know that we have some debts that I for sure can help. Both of us pay off and pay down. That would maybe make separating a lot easier