u/Desperate-Hamster534 — reddlx

I’m about 3 months into EMDR for SA and chronic invalidation as a child. I’m noticing that I feel more shame than ever. The first month I felt good. My shame was releasing. I could be me. Too much. Now I am more so processing family things and I feel rage towards my family, almost a full “they are bad.” And everything they do makes me angry, especially when I’m feeling ignored or like I’m crazy. My family isn’t bad. But there is and was dysfunction. I’m noticing I am feeling terrible about myself lately more tha ever - whenever someone talks to me I immediately look for how they are mad at me and I am so so mean to myself, 24/7. I don’t want to be mean to myself. I want to be compassionate towards myself. Why is this happening?

I’m about 3 months into EMDR for SA and chronic invalidation as a child. (diagnosed bpd/ocd (ocd is currently severe during this too) I’m noticing that I feel more shame than ever. The first month I felt good. My shame was releasing. I could be me. Too much. Now I am more so processing family things and I feel rage towards my family, almost a full “they are bad.” And everything they do makes me angry, especially when I’m feeling ignored or like I’m crazy. My family isn’t bad. But there is and was dysfunction. I’m noticing I am feeling terrible about myself lately more tha ever - whenever someone talks to me I immediately look for how they are mad at me and I am so so mean to myself, 24/7. I don’t want to be mean to myself. I want to be compassionate towards myself. Why is this happening?