I'm an avoidant and I know it. I've spent five years telling guys I don't want a serious relationship, being blunt, not leading anyone on, and focusing on healing myself. I have trust issues and hate confrontation, but I would never ghost.
Last year, I was starting to feel like I maybe wanted something a little more serious. And then I met my ghoster.
We were both working together on a job out of town. We work for the same company, but we're from different cities and we wouldn't have crossed paths if we weren't both sent to this jobsite.
It got intense pretty quick, by virtue of being out of town together. There wasn't much to do after work but go to the hotel bar for a couple of drinks, and we worked 6 days a week, so we didn't go home on the weekends. Talking turned into sleeping together. He asked for more, and at first I said no. He was going to go back to where he lived, and me back to my city, and they're nowhere near each other, and I ain't moving.
But he slowly wore me down. He was funny and kind and we had a lot in common. We went for a couple of dates. He wasn't lovebombing and promising the moon; he said we'd see how it turned out after the job was over, and I agreed to that.
After he went home, texts and calls were infrequent. I tried to manage my expectations while remaining hopeful.
And then, two weeks after he left, I never heard from him again.
He has social media, but he hasn't posted anything in 2-3 years, so there was no checking on that to torture myself. Just silence.
The avoidant part of me expected it, but four months later I'm still traumatized. I find it hard to trust anyone new, even people who just want to be friends. I deleted the messages and the photos. I blame him, not me. I feel like I should be over it by now.
P.S. A coworker, who knew it had ended but didn't know it upset me (I pretend it doesn't bother me and I'd moved on) asked him about it a month later (on their own, I did not ask or want them to). They told me he said "he felt bad we weren't talking". I replied, "well, tell him he can always apologize" and I never heard anything else about it.