How do you lead a relationship?
Problem/Goal: I (18m) am asking for advice on do men actually lead in a relationship
Context: I have been with my girl (18f) for 1year and a half now, she has an avoidance attachment style and I have anxious, I understand that each time we have an argument she needs space but it's hard for me to actually not talk to her because when she's mad she's really mad and can go days without talking to me or updating, the only way I can know what she's doing is thru her notes or she posts a story on her ig regarding on what she's doing.
It's unrelated but I actually want to know how do you actually lead in a relationship as a man, because each time we argue she keeps on saying that she's the man on the relationship and she always leads us, she says that I only see her giving up but not the part where she gets tired, disappointed and her struggles but in truth I see it and always figure out a way to make it back to her, I'm not perfect so I break some promises I made to her like going out but suddenly cancelling because of no budget, cause if we continue even though I have no budget she points it out to me when we fight saying that when we date she always pays, she says that I have no rights mapagod at walang reason bumitaw kasi di naman daw ako napapagod at sya lang daw ang sumasalo sa lahat.
Note that she is my first gf and I am her 4th, she dated a 20+ aged man before (yes it's pedo cause she was like 14 back then) and was probably the reason why she thinks I lack leading the relationship because her ex let's her do whatever she wants and is so matured, I don't like being compared so when she mentioned that I got hurt, so I am genuinely asking how do you lead a relationship
Previous Attempts: none