Is this even PTSD?
Yesterday, I realized that I might have symptoms of PTSD. The reason is an accident from November: I moved into a shared flat and rented a room there. After moving in, I found out that the washing machine hose is not securely attached and needs to be manually repositioned each time into the toilet bowl. Unfortunately, I caused flooding - the water reached the neighbor's flat below. There was a lot of screaming; I was called the worst neighbor ever, etc. It was tough, but I took responsibility and somehow got over it. I thought the issue was settled. Then, exactly 20 days later, while I was taking a shower, the neighbors below rang our door again. It felt as if the same incident happened a second time -almost the same hour (late in the evening). A lot of screaming, calls of me being the worst neighbor, and threats. Of course, all accusations were again on me. However, the next day it turned out that this time a pipe under the bathtub had broken.
I have not been able to stop thinking about this since. I also posted my story online elsewhere and was strongly criticized for my actions. Yes, I am sorry it happened, and I took responsibility, but I keep reliving it all the time. I think about it at least every ten minutes. Everything reminds me of this accident. I don’t know what bothers me most - the accident itself or the hateful comments on the Internet. I realize I am often in fight-or-flight mode and cannot move forward. But if I remember correctly, these feelings started after the second flood, which was not my fault at all.
I feel ashamed that something so stupid affected me so much. In the end, the loss was only financial (the walls needed repainting), and I moved out of the flat in January. I know there are people suffering from PTSD after severe accidents, wars, etc. And here I am, having difficulty living because a stupid hose came out of the toilet bowl. I’m actually wondering if I am exaggerating. However, I have the main symptoms - like flashbacks, mood swings, and feeling stressed all the time.