Title pretty much sums it up. I don't know if I have any siblings out there but I have a big hunch that I do. Where do I ask if anyone knows my father (as that's the only parent who could have had more children). Is this even a reddit question? If not where do I try and find this out?
Hello. As a warning before you get too deep into this, it's really heavy. If you a not in a place to handle sexual assault, have a great day hope to see you again sometime. I don't go too in depth, but still. Leave if you need too. Otherwise, here we go.
This is a throwaway account as a lot of this info I don't really want to be traced back to me. However if anyone somehow has any advice; I am waving you to the front, please take a seat. Anyway, my life is riddled with just about every trauma you can name. When I was around 5 or 6 is when the trauma truly kicked off I guess. What I like to say is that my father liked me. A little too much. Eventually, he went to prison when I was 9 or 10, and has been in state prison ever since. When everything went down, I wasn't really told much. I was kept in the dark a lot. Which, to me, was funny considering we were in the situation in the first place because I knew too much for a child. Anyway, I wasn't really told how he got caught, who all was involved, nor why the feds ended up getting involved or anything of the sort. I ended up just piecing together what I could over the past eleven years. As you can imagine, I still have lots and lots of questions. So, recently, now that I am 21, I requested to see the case files. I have now read through all of the pages and I ended up with more questions than answers. There's a lot in there that I don't remember, and things that I remember that aren't in there. Not just that, but the entire case just doesn't make much sense. Like what is Yam 711 USA mean? Anyway, I found out that not only was I raped, but I was also trafficked a lot more than I thought I was. I also know the present my father was going to give me for my tenth birthday. To be his sex slave. Wow, I really did win on the father lottery didn't I? Anyway, I don't really know what to do with the information I have and I just wish I could remember what happened. I know the whole "your brain's trying to protect you" thing. It's not doing a good job of it because I can feel the missing memories. It's like when someone asks you what your favorite movie is and your mind immediately goes blank. You know what it is, you can feel that its there. You can remember watching a movie and loving it but every time you try and figure out what that movie is, your brain just won't budge. Now imagine someone asked you one day why you had blood all over you. You can't remember. You are now silently asking what ifs while your brain shifts through possibilities, none of which seem solid all the while the stranger is now looking at you weird and telling everyone around them. Little dramatic but you get the picture.
Yes, my therapist will hear about all of this, but how much do you think someone can help all of this in an hour?