I have my surgical abortion scheduled for tomorrow morning. To be honest, I don’t want to do it, not because I wanna have a kid right now but because man this whole thing is so scary😭 I feel like I’m screwed with whatever choice I make wether it’s having a child or gettting an abortion. I don’t know where the relationship with the father is headed and we’re married but I honestly don’t think I want to continue being with this man. He has shown some red flags and signs of potentially being abusive, and having a kid with him and being stuck with him sounds like a nightmare. I got pregnant because I thought this is what I wanted but it’s just been a huge wake up call for me. A part of me feels really guilty too. And selfish. I do want children and a family but I don’t know if these are the right circumstances. Everyone tells me oh it’s never the perfect moment and if you want to make it happen you will find a way, which is true in a way and it just makes me feel even more like crap. I’m also scared of the abortion because I’m gonna have to take some pills to soften up my cérvix and then they’ll go in with the vacuum once they’ve taken affect and bro that sounds brutal, I know I’ll be sedated but idk how much it’s gonna hurt when I take the pills. And I’m gonna be on an empty stomach?torture haha.
But yeah if anyone has ever been in this situation or has any advice to offer I’d be grateful thank you.