u/DepartmentCurious494 — reddlx

I am literally in the best place of my life rn( TOUCH WOOD🧿) . So, I should not be complaining right?? RIGHT??!

Career wise , I am at a place where i was praying for since years - my fav medical branch pg which i always wanted in a dream city (worst clg btw).Health wise ,I am getting better everyday ,losing weight and also able to eat healthy food despite tight schedule. Nothing else to actually complain about but....

Medical profession is confusing af, I am right where i always wanted to be .But THERE IS SO MUCH TO STUDY ,but so little time. More than half of my day ,I spend in the hospital and i want to study when i come home . But i get so tired that sleep feels like a luxury at this point. I have less time for family and friends ,i cannot talk to them more than 5 minutes. Its exhausting , always tired ,always anxious , but also happy bcoz I love the dept i am working at.

Somedays I dont want to go at all not bcoz i hate it but bcoz i am so tired. We dont have any holidays, its just work 24-7 and still its not enough,never enough.

The main anxiety for me is whether i will ever be able to study and obtain all knowledge thats necessary for me to be the doctor i want to be .I feel like i need to put in more time ,more focus .But human has limits , considering my shift work and also my brain shuts off after all day work even if i have time to study. Subject is extremely volatile , i forget everything next second. I see my seniors who are amazing and can answer everything in a split second, Will i ever become that smart ?? My seniors suggested me multiple revisions but the anxiety and stress catches up to me.

Its complicated but i am trying to figure out...

Oh...btw - I DONT GET PAID for this shit. Yup , stipend doesnt exist in our clg so.....Financial motivation is out of question. I will k1ll anyone who says " DoCToRs EaRn LoT oF MoNeY" ....fck this stupid clg.