Deciding to limit contact further... check me if I am in the wrong
My dad consistently has a pattern of not respecting boundaries. My mom consistently backs my dads behaviors and puts it on other people. We have two kids 7 & 10. My dad always wants hugs and to kiss the grandkids. One of my daughters gets really uncomfortable by it and refuses and he will push her on this. We’ve had conversations a few times about this. At Christmas one year, he was asking the grandkids to come give him a kiss… only one child obliged (not mine), then he made a big deal out of it and let that child open their presents first because she gave him a kiss. I called him after that get together and was upset with that and I could feel him about to lose his cool when my phone came on the phone to thank me for telling her and how it was an honest mistake and he didn’t mean it…
I have gone no contact with my parents before in the past. It was covid time and I was taking all precautions. My parents rented a cabin and invited only my brother's family because his family was very scared about Covid precautions. I told my mom that it hurt my feelings and my dad screamed at me in front of my kids and said my mom was going through a lot of pain with all of her dentist appointments and I should give them grace. I left with my kids after that.
Recently we received home videos of me growing up. My dad constantly made fun of me and teased me all the time. My mom let him. Anytime I would get upset, the family was just joking and I was too sensitive.
Fast forward to now. Currently we are low contact and my parents reach out only 2 weeks before an event or big holiday. My kids were invited to hangout at my parents house for a bit. One of my daughters was anxious/upset about this and didn’t want to go so we backed out.
This past weekend my kid had a sports game so I invited the grandparents and they came (because they love the big events). My dad showed me a couple of pictures he had made using AI. They both were ‘him’ as a teenager protecting other girls. It was legit a picture of a guy and huddled behind him were three private school girls. It was very strange and uncomfortable. I also overheard him behind me (while the game was going on) talking to my daughter about giving him a hug and making a big deal about it and was so happy she did. He also kept trying to get her to give him the food she brought for herself.
After this last event I am really ready to limit contact to only big events with family where both myself and spouse will be present. My mind keeps trying to tell me that I am making things a bigger deal than what I need to.
Also my dad waited until after 8 to message me happy mothers day.