u/Dense-Quit-3060

So, I was in a relationship last year, but my ex got married. I was devastated, stopped talking to girls, didn’t study properly, etc. Gathered some courage, started going to the gym, improved my physique a bit, gave job interviews but got no result. In February, I met with an accident. Now things started changing from there.

I have this close friend from my school time, let’s name her A. I still talk to her to this day. So when I broke up with my ex last year, I stopped talking to other girls because I was scared, but I still talked to A. The thing is, A was also in a relationship at that time, and I never had any feelings for her.

Well, then A broke up with her boyfriend in January, and as a close friend, I consoled her and everything was pretty normal at that time too. However, we started talking a little more then.

Then I met with an accident in February and was denied doing any physical activity for 3 months. Things started to change from here as I had nothing to do, stared at the ceiling all day, and waited for her texts as she supported me during that time. After 15–20 days, she told me about some guy she had started talking to. I started feeling jealous (I don’t want to be like this but I can’t control it), and yeah, the dude was very good-looking (I look mid) and is a pure-hearted guy (I know him).

After this, I started waiting for her texts even more as I had nothing to do and was very depressed. I was scared that if she gets with him, I’ll lose the attention I’m getting.

So it has been two months since we started talking more, and I don’t know when I developed feelings for her (I know they aren’t real feelings). Yesterday, we were talking normally, and then when A told me about that guy, I got very jealous again. I didn’t show it but started questioning more, sounding desperate. Then I playfully asked her that if I had met you sooner and something like that, would I have had any chance? She said she has brotherly feelings for me, but if we had met sooner, then who knows. After that nothing did go awkward, but she must have thought about it, she joked it off that time. I feel cringed now.

I know this is a straight rejection, but what should I do now? I don’t want to lose her as she is very dear to me, but I don’t want to develop any further feelings for her either.

I’m stuck in a loop. Before my accident, everything was normal, but now as I’m lying in bed, I crave her attention all the time. I don’t want to be like this.

if someone wanna tell me something about it please go ahead