u/DementedPimento

My mom made a cake for mother's day. I was going to order a brownie-cake (her favourite), but she surprised me baking one herself. She loves cooking, and loves being praised for it (which I find endearing, because she really tries her best and the outcome it's usually amazing). She kept me away from the kitchen while she was "experimenting", and the result really smelled great (I even tried one, and it was de-li-cious!). I was praising her creation, while helping her cleaning, and then I noticed there was a broken glass container with a bit of melted chocolate in the trash. Concerned, I asked if she was allright or if she hurt herself, since she gets anxious in the kitchen trying to do too much and sometimes hurts herself without paying attention.

She said "oh, it's fine, it broke in the microwave, I didn't cut myself, and I scrapped everything so nothing was to waste". That shocked me. "You scrapped everything from the shattered glass?", I asked again. She got startled, as if she got caught saying something she didn't intend to say. "Oh, no...", she tried to minimize and change the subject, but after a little push, she went "well, yes, but don't worry, I checked carefully, I doubt there is any in there". She said so like it was a matter of fact that she could know without doubt if there was any bit of broken glass in a big blob of melted chocolate... Now, I didn't want to make her feel bad after all her hard work, so I just said "could you explain me how you did it, just to be certain it is safe?". This made her go defensive mode, and she just started complaining why I didn't trust her, refused to elaborate how she managed to "scrap it all safely", and threatened me with throwing it all away. I kept trying to talk to her (she sometimes gets really defensive when she believes someone is blaming her, so I try to be patient), trying to find middle ground between "either trust me or throw it all away", but I must admit the more she kept blaming me for not trusting her instead of actually talking to be certain of the risks involved, I lost my patience and told her "do wathever you want, throw it all away if you want!" and just left her.

Now I feel bad, because I didn't want to have an argument with her the day before mother's day, but I also feel like my trust was violated in the sense she was willing to risk her family's life out of pride, and the more I thought about it the angrier and sadder I got, because I had a piece and I could have hurt myself, like how could she hide that risk from me, from her family? Would she even have told me if I didn't find out? So now I'm crying, while trying to organize my mind and think clearly, looking for a way to talk to her on Monday, because she is the type of person that would go "either you are with me or against me", never middle ground. I love her, I don't want to ruin her day, but she is adamant she wants to serve this on Mother's day. Would I be the AH if I asked her please just to remove the filling? Would that even be safe enough for everyone or is there still risk a bit of glass remains? I don't know how to address this without hurting her feelings that doesn't involve me risking swallowing shards of glass.

Saw my spine doc today to discuss where the epidural should go. Her job, as a doctor, is to poke the painful spots until I scream and then have me do Office Twister.

First, she said it was pretty obvious I have HSD from how flexible I am, especially at my advanced age and where my injuries are. So even though I am old enough to remember when fire was fire, my flexibility is astonishing. Yay!!

Second, because of my HSD, I won’t need to be sedated for the epidural bc why; it seems my pain tolerance is legendary.

Third: I’m getting epidurals!