She said, “I can’t pay the rent, can I pay you some other way?” Lifting her skirt. The other Monopoly players were shocked. That was the last time we played with grandma
My extra sensitive toothpaste gets upset when I use a different kind.
My friend was having an emotional moment so I asked, “Are you having an emo-gence? Should I call a wam-bulance?
The fake siren sold it. Wee-eww-wee-eww-wee-eew!
I’m a bad friend.
Every morning I like to remind my wife who’s in charge by holding a mirror up to her face.
But when they turn over, they always expected me to…you know… be dressed.
I start my job as an executioner tomorrow.
I’ll “be heading” there soon. I hope I can cut it. It’s a chance to make a killing and get ahead. I just hope it’s not a dead end job.
Science has proven that women who put on a few pounds live longer than the men who point it out.
I threw a ball for my dog. It was a bit extravagant, but it was his birthday. And he looks great in a dinner jacket. He was fetching.
Jesus was really into exercising. He started cross fit.