Is it normal for my mom to be this mad at me?
Today I came home from school and saw the living room was a mess and the thing is that the mess was made by my mom, which I usually don’t say much since she’s constantly busy but then again I realize she’ll tell me to pick it up for her. I told her what can be summarized to “hey, yeah, I’ll pick it up for you but I just think it isn’t cool how you always make a mess here and then blame it on us [us being my brother and I] and forgetting that you were the one who made it.” Which she responded to with basically “Yeah reprimand me for just taking some time to rest and not being able to clean anything up.” Which I responded with “Yeah okay I’m sorry for getting a bit frustrated but I wasn’t even reprimanding you or mad at you I’m just a bit frustrated that this is something you always do. It’s also kind of frustrating that you make us clean up your messes.” Which she responded back with “That’s because I can, I’m your mother. Whenever I see something on the floor that’s yours I pick it up,” which isn’t true, she tells us to pick it up and I told her that. And then she went on a rant I couldn’t hear since by then I went to my room. I wasn’t particularly mad at the situation, I just felt that the whole thing was silly but I guess she took it to heart because when I went back outside I tried talking to her which she responded with “What do you want,” which is like, okay… that’s a bit rude? I told her “Why are you mad at me? I’m sorry if I made you mad and it wasn’t my intention to,” to which she responded back with “Now every time you want something I’ll respond to you that way because you’re acting like that with me” and then she proceeded to ignore me for a while and I tried apologizing again which made her say something along the lines of “I’m not gonna act sweet anymore because you always act like this” and “When I’m old I’m going to live by myself in [my mom’s birth country] to die alone there because what’s the point of staying here.” Before leaving to work.
The issue is that she always tells me that same exact thing which makes me feel like I’ve done something so horrible to her it makes her, in essence, cut off all contact with me. Additionally whenever she gets mad she ignores me and doesn’t even let me apologize at all. Even when I try to hug her she pushes me away. Yes, I am aware that she really isn’t under any obligation to forgive me immediately but I feel like at the same time she shouldn’t act as if I’m her sworn enemy or something like that.
I love my mom so very dearly but as i approach 18 she hasn’t had much patience with me and doesn’t really treat me as an equal. She kinda has that attitude of “I’m older/Im your parent so I know more than you and therefore you have to do everything I say and everything I say is the truth. And if you try to deny it or contest you’re disrespecting me.”
Also I wanna make it a point that I don’t mean to intentionally demonize my mom or anything. She’s someone I consider my best friend and I don’t know what I would do without her constant support. So if you’re gonna respond and insult my mother in the comments then please respectfully don’t interact at all with this post. The last thing I need is a stranger insulting my mother.