Hi there. I have been with my partner for 5 and a half years and married for 3 and a half.
Long story short - when I was much younger I owned a home with a previous partner and we sold that home when we split up. We ended up having to bring $3k to the closing table to finish the transaction. My ex and I were both broke at the time (early 20s) and so his parents brought the 3k and then he and I were supposed to pay back our half. So I owed his parents $1500.
Fast forward to about a year and a half ago - I remembered that I never paid my half and I reached out to my ex’s mom on FB and offered to pay my half in the form of a contribution to a charity she had established. She said I could just send her the money directly but she doesn’t have Venmo or any electronic money transfer apps. So the process became complicated bc I would have to go to the bank, get a money order and mail it with tracking. I was going to send the money in chunks over the course of a few months.
I told my now partner about it when I originally made the arrangement to pay it back and he was ok (maybe a little annoyed but he was not mad).
This is where it gets tricky. Basically I sent one money order for $250 and then some traumatic life happened and I forgot about it again. I have now decided to send the rest of the money to her. My partner thinks this is something I took care of/completed awhile ago.
I am struggling with whether or not it’s necessary/helpful to tell him now that I actually never finished paying off the debt and that I’ve resumed sending the remainder. It’s coming from my own money and not our joint funds.
My therapist is encouraging me to resist the urge to confess but I can’t decide if this is OCD or if not telling him would be bad behavior or wrong.