u/Delicious_Rich_9631

I (30f) have decided, with the guidance of multiple therapists, to cut off communication with my mom due to her constant toxic behavior. It's been 5 days since I spoke to her. She has not tried to call me or communicate with me at all so far but this weekend is mother's day weekend. I'm not going to be calling her, nor am I giving her a gift this year. She told me last week she was not my mother anymore and that she was fine with me not getting her anything for Mother's day so I'm following through. She has never stopped seeing me as a child and believes that I am her property (she has said this) despite me being 30, having my own home, my own income and a husband. I cannot take her behavior anymore. It has caused me a great deal of truama, anxiety, insecurity, and social inadequacy. It is hurting me so bad just thinking about not celebrating my mom on mother's day and not gifting her anything but she's never been appreciative of gifts I've given her in the past. I always have to go above and beyond for her. She pits me and my siblings against each other. Its a competition for affection and admiration and that's cold hearted. I have listened, for decades now, to my peers talk about the things they're getting their moms and thw activities they'll share with their moms for mother's day and I'm sitting in silence, embarrassed because my mom typically takes a vacation every year for mother's day on her own and she requests cash as a gift. I'm also usually sad that we spend the whole day with my MIL because it hurts seeing that unconditional love taking place but this year I'm just going to embrace that part of my family. I know my mom's going to be angry and maybe even hurt but my therapist believes this is necessary for my healing. Has anyone else had to cut off their mom or dad? What was it like? Did you reconnect? Did they start respecting you after?