u/Delicious_Air_2983 — reddlx

they’re doing just fine and i’m a wreck (rant)

i first need to take some accountability here. i was in an abusive relationship, i’m the one who left him, yet i’m the one who keeps blocking and unblocking him to reach out after the relationship is over. he reacts, manipulates and calls me names, and cycle continues.

he’s telling me he’s having normal days without me. in the first initial days after leaving him, i felt on cloud 9. i felt free, like myself again… and then the delayed emotions i couldn’t process started pouring in. i’m a mess, to say the very least. this is a man who was emotionally, verbally, (borderline?) physically, and sexually abusive towards me. yet i keep coming back for a fix of, what? communication? that’s never going to happen. i guess i just want a genuine apology, but that’s never going to happen. and i get angry too, you know? i say some nasty things back, to the point where i feel like i’m the one who’s being abusive and his abuse was all in my head.

i know it wasn’t though. he’s called me a stupid bitch, said he hates me, sped as a way to intimidate me, left me in a parking lot (when he knew i had no money to call a cab home), would pitch a fit if i ever went out, was overly possessive, controlling, you name it.

i don’t mean to rant. i know it’s selfish of me, but it hurts to see that someone who’s hurt me so deeply is able to do so much better very soon after the breakup.

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u/Delicious_Air_2983 — 6 days ago

▲ 1 r/abusiverelationships

finally blocked him. he started off my morning at 3:00 am (we’d been broken up for less than 72 hours) telling me i’m evil. 12 hours before, he was telling me he loves me and how sorry he was for all the emotional and verbal abuse. 10 hours before, he was goading me to give him a response when initially he was going to allow me space to think about everything. i don’t know why i was even considering getting back together with him!

so, i blocked him this morning. i don’t think i’ll ever hear from him again. i’m deeply sad, tired, and overwhelmed. even though it was only for a few months (i guess we met in 2024, but weren’t official until november of 2025) he has changed how i will perceive and go about relationships forever. i guess that’s both a good thing and a bad thing.

cheers to me i guess.

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u/Delicious_Air_2983 — 14 days ago

▲ 5 r/abusiverelationships

after i left my ex about two days ago, all i’ve been doing is catching up on homework and sleeping. deep sleeping. vivid dreams, waking up intermittently, but for the most part uninterrupted.

i know he had sabotaged my rest but i’d never realized how EXHAUSTED i was. and my relationship with him only really last a few months. i can’t imagine how the survivors who’ve spent years with their partners must’ve slept after leaving, at least i’m assuming this is quite common.

is this a common experience?

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u/Delicious_Air_2983 — 15 days ago

▲ 15 r/abusiverelationships

before i begin, let me just acknowledge the elephant in the room: yes, i know i should block him. i know i WILL block him.

tldr: very recent messy break up with an added layer of guilt tripping. needs tips as to how people who’ve left their abusers dealt with any guilt.

last week, he left me alone in a parking lot after a fight. i still have that post up, idk how reddit works, but in that post i share more details. that day, i called my mom and we scheduled for me to come home for a few days, seven hours away. i’ve been home, and healing. he’s still been in my life. he’s been begging me to take him back and that things will get better. i wanted to believe things would, so that same day he left me, we ended up talking things out and got back together.

that day last week, he missed an exam. then on friday, he missed another big exam. he will be failing two of his classes, and it’s almost as if he’s putting the blame on me. at least that’s how it feels.

i asked him yesterday, because today i was supposed to be back on campus, if we could just have a chill night with no sec involved. he flipped out, sending me a long stream of verging on incoherent sentences (i later found out he was drunk, which is increasingly typical) assuming the worst and “how could my girlfriend be cheating on me.” all because i dared to change my mind about sex.

i was in the middle of getting ready and packing for the bus ride back. as i was reading these messages, i ran to my mom’s office and told her “don’t let me get on that bus.” i’m spending a few more days at home.

i broke up with him over text. he’s tried calling, facetiming, multiple times. today he texts me that he’s taking time off work and not going to counseling, essentially all because of me. i feel awful. i still care about him. but at the same token i don’t even know if any of this is real or if he’s just saying these things as a ploy to make me feel such immense guilt that i’ll go back to him.

i can’t go back to him. how did you deal with the guilt/guilt tripping?

u/Delicious_Air_2983 — 16 days ago

▲ 12 r/abusiverelationships

CONTEXT: earlier this week he abandoned me in a parking lot (long story) that led me to drive seven hours back home for a few days. he eventually wore me down and begged me to give him another chance. we’ve been talking about seeing each other tomorrow, monday, but i have projects due tomorrow (it’s finals week at my university) and work early the next morning. i kindly requested we see each other tuesday instead. he doesn’t have work, i don’t have work, and i wont be stressed about assignments or projects anymore. he took it as me not wanting to see him.

i understand i gave him some attitude. i’m just hurt. am i the one in the wrong?

NOTE: some of these texts are out of order but i hope you guys get the general idea.

u/Delicious_Air_2983 — 17 days ago