Two years ago my husband (26) cheated on me. My husband got ill and lost a lot of weight when he was 23. I didn’t know he was cheating before I got pregnant, nor did I know during my pregnancy, nor after.
Our daughter was 6 months old when I found out. I knew it was emotional and he denies it was ever physical. Though deep in my soul I knew he was lying. I forgave him.
Before you call me in idiot—stupid, and every other word I haven’t already called myself. For reasons I can’t say I can’t leave. Even if I wanted to leave… and trust me I did… I couldn’t. So I forgave him in hopes I could continue my education and make a life for just me and daughter and stupidly enough I thought he wouldn’t cheat again and we can build our home together.
Now our daughter is 2 and 6 months and I caught him an again texting another woman and sending photos on instagram.He said they’re streaks or whatever but I’m not an idiot—but god do I so badly wished I was one. I love him dearly. I saved myself for marriage, loved him when he was ill, dealt with his mother knowing she didn’t like me… checked all the boxes as best I could and I feel like a fool for not being able to leave. And I know just because I did all that doesn’t mean I’m supposed to be rewarded with the love I gave back.
I don’t know if I’m rambling, but I can’t cope with it. I just wanted to be loved and I want to so badly just ‘be a baddie’ and leave and yet I can’t . I feel pathetic and I curse my situation every day knowing I’m living a lie… now all I can think about is that stupid quote I heard. “You can be the sweetest peach in the tree, but some people just don’t like peaches.”
I’m hoping once he comes home from work that we don’t argue to the point our daughter hears us.