I am 9 weeks postpartum with my first baby and have had to deal with a weird amount of family drama which I’m sure has contributed to some postpartum anxiety. Some backstory: when I was about to give birth my brother started a bunch of drama about when he could “see the baby”. The real reason he wanted to know is because he and his wife wanted to Announce they were pregnant, and he wanted me to predict -lol - when I would have the baby so they could announce their pregnancy without conflicting with the birth of my baby. He was very rude about it and made very hateful comments, and without knowing the full story my parents pretty much told me to get over it. Of note, ended up announcing their pregnancy to my parents while I was in labor. My husband was shocked at how they all acted and vented to my mom that our feelings were hurt and my brother was rude, and now my mom is upset and treating him badly because he defended me against my brother. He has apologized to her for this and understands he put her in a weird position by venting about her son. She is still holding a grudge.
Now, this weekend my parents are hosting a bday party for a friend with about 30 people going. This week the baby started a lot of cluster feeding, fussing and not settling with the normal methods, and is still purple crying. My husband also went back to work yesterday so there’s a lot of newness. I told my mom we wouldn’t be coming to the party because by the time my husband is off work the baby will be hitting the purple cry time which can last an hour or so, and then we’d have to leave so he can be up for work at 4 am. She told me to come without my husband, which feels like a dig since she’s already upset with him. When I said I don’t want to go without my husband she called me the name of a friend who she talks badly about for not leaving the house since having a baby. I have left the house, I have been to two smaller family gatherings for birthdays and for Easter since having the baby. It just seems dangerous to bring a baby with an immature immune system to a large gathering where I’m going to end up in a back room comforting him and breastfeeding him anyway. So, AITAH for not going?