I went in for an annual today and this is how it went:
Front desk made me sign a document that says this was just an annual visit and there were no other health concerns which would be charged separately
>< What was odd : have never ever had to sign something like this numerous times before and almost everything at this hospital is online
The front desk asks me to sit at door G but I got called in from door B.
>< What was odd : they were so far apart and am glad I heard the faint name call or I would have missed it
Nurse takes my weight and asks basic questions-nothing odd there.
Here’s the interaction with my gynecologist:
She comes in and asks me right away in an excited tone “ are you ok? “ I nod yes with a light smile. “ oh you look nervous especially your eyes” I reply with “ oh no I’m fine”
>< What was odd : looking back I thought maybe I looked frazzled because of my hair - there was light rain and I had dropped my kid off and then driven to the hospital and then again walked in the rain through the parking lot
“Did you already meet with your PCP?” I said no I have one coming up. “oh because you still have your shirt on and we do a breast exam. But if you have already met her we don’t have to.” I apologized and said I’ll just take it off and proceeded to do so.
>< What was odd : why such a convoluted way to ask me to take my shirt off too? I just forgot that they also do a breast exam along with screening the cervix.
While I take it off she says “ Are you planning to have any more kids? “ I said we have talked about it but only if my health allows it. She immediately started with “ it’s a LOT right? Second kid is not just double the work its triple and ..” so on.
>< What was odd : I said “if my health allows it” . Not one mention of my health and what she sees as a concern. Just a rant about how hard it is to manage two kids when she doesn’t know anything about me except my health history !
I respond with “ well I’ve always wanted kids with an age gap. “ she again immediately dives into the problems of an age gap and how they won’t play with each other and closer age gap is better. All this while giving me a breast exam.
>< What was odd : this is so subjective ? Raising kids is not just about if they play together? I was already feeling quite dejected at this point.
Checks cervix in what took 2 seconds and said “everything looks healthy! How is your diet and exercise?” I said “ so much better. Working with a nutritionist and I’ve learned a lot from her. When to eat what to eat etc.”
No questions. Her Immediate response was “ us Asians are culturally raised with problematic food like rice . You need to cut out refined carbs “ I said I stopped refined carbs entirely but can eat about 1/4 cup of rice from the freezer if there’s nothing else. To which she says “if I may, you need to stop that too. What did you eat yesterday? “
I give a her a list of foods I ate “ oat bran, yogurt, chicken, egg, grain free tortillas.. “ she says “ the tortillas usually have tapioca as a binder and you need to be careful”
“Oh ok yeah that could be and I also had lentils which is not great with the carbs and eggplant “ she says “ why? Lentils are great! It’s a complex carb”
“Oh good. My problem is snacking..” interrupted by here again - “ oh wow what do you eat?” I told her I tend to eat the ( ‘air quotes’ ) “healthy” snacks I buy for my kid typically grain free. She goes on to say we need do better for our families and change the diet for everyone in the family because they will be better off for it in the future.
I said “ yes true, food for thought and I hope I get better” at this point she’s already getting up to leave and said “see you next year!“
Sorry for the long post but this is almost verbatim. The whole conversation kept running a loop in my head the entire day.
I realized she was unnecessarily critical, not a word of recognition and not a word of encouragement. She was the doctor who delivered my child, this was my second visit after birth and not one question about how they were doing. I was eventually so upset, I cried when I relayed it to my husband in the evening.
I have had a really tough year health wise and was finally feeling healthier. Even though my BMI is 30 , I was stronger from workouts, better eating habits and was hopeful I’m not a lost cause which is what this doctor made me feel. I’m surprised a simple annual exam could cause me to feel this bad about myself and want to snap out of it. But I can’t shake the feeling like something is off here?