I did not expect my crush to ask me to be his prom partner. This means that I am going to be his first and last experience of senior high school. I am not that good at writing things down but I hope you understand how this story goes.
Prom is happening this week on Friday the 8th of May. First of all, I have never had an interaction nor a conversation with this guy for 3 years. We only had one year of class together and we only see each other at school. We're neighbors but he is kinda far. I have developed an admiration for him the moment I saw him present his speech, he sounded and looked mature compared to my other classmates..That was on Year 10. On Year 11 we're not on the same class anymore, but we're on the same bus..So I still see him everyday. Then I started to notice him looking at me and his gazes felt different. I just knew that there is something going on.
The thing is, he is the type of guy people would judge as stoic, old fashioned, and self centered. He is very intimidating, alone, and serious.. I admired him somehow because hes got the looks, and I thought that we might have something in common.
I am a complicated girl. But anyway, when we first had our conversation. He went to our house and introduced himself... We were getting to know each other but we were mostly just sitting beside each other in silence. It didnt feel awkward, it felt familiar and safe, except my dad and little sibling was there. So long story short, we talked for 5 days in our two week school break and I had a great time.
First day is introduction and talked about what were going to wear for prom, second day was on a birthday party but he only showed up on the last minute, third day we went for a walk in town, fourth day is we tried our clothes for prom, and fifth day is he invited me to go shopping with his family and got to choose his tie and haircut.
So school starts again, and first day wasn't great because I only approached him after school, and I kinda left him without saying goodbye because we got separated from the crowd. Anyway I texted him as soon as I got home but he did not text back.
(He doesnt use social media, besides discord, so I am assuming that hes not always on his phone and doesnt really text people)
The next day, I tried not to approach him after class because I feel like I was "chasing" him. But suddenly he approached me. Then we spend our lunch together. But that was not it because the next day we were going to the dance practice for prom, turns out that hes not really into it so were not going to dance at prom. I asked him why, because that is the point going to prom, he didnt said anything. Days goes by, I had to approach him first so that we can hang out. It made me feel like I was "chasing" him again. I was putting on an effort not only for him but also for myself but it seems to not work. I even feel more worse especially that I am dealing with some heavy stuff lately.
He is calm when he talks, but he looks really intimidating. We played badminton together, it was intense because he was good at it. He acts fast, have this golf-style way to throw the shuttlecock with his racket. While I just stood there looking like an effortlessly tired person. I did some of the work too. But the more I spend my time with him, the more anxious I get. Because were completely opposite and I have never talked to a person like him before... and when I ask him questions, he doesnt ask back. It is not like I am expecting it back but its literally a sign of disinterest. He asks questions randomly but the vibe is off... Is it just me? Or he kind of regretting choosing me..?
See, I know a lot of things about him now. But does he know of things about me as well? I dont think so. It hurts. I know he is a very shy and private guy but he also have to put some effort to match my vibe too right? Because I show him that I try to match his. Or maybe Im being too much and I dont want to be this way because I am supposed to be getting better.. Like I should be happy that for a long time someone i like is liking me back? Even if its just a friend?...