Note: I’m a lesbian if you have a problem go away
I promised myself I’d never do it again. And yet, when I was in Mexico I turned on Tinder just looking for people to show me around when I met the most beautiful girl I’d ever been out with (really). She was all over me and asked me to stay at her house. I knew it was a bad idea but I stayed anyway.
When I flew back to the states I figured it was over but we continued to text everyday. I’ve been wanting to move to Mexico anyway so when we talked about me returning to visit it seemed crazy, but not outside of the realm of possible. I know there were some orange flags but I proceeded anyway.
After another 5 days together she called it casual in passing. I responded “it wasn’t to me, I really like you.” She proceeded to tell me she didn’t want anything serious right now.
Yes I look like a fool, but why the fuck do you let someone fly across a whole country for you if you’re not interested?!? If you’re that hot and you want casual why not find someone in your own damn city?!?
Anyway, I’m home now and our messages have petered out (after an initial “thanks sooo much for visiting I had a great time with you ❤️😘❤️😘” I might add.) When I went to delete her on tinder I saw she had updated her profile. I will not be texting again. No final goodbye, no explanation, no nothing. I’m not interested in someone who treats people that way. Absolute no for me. I will leave with what little dignity I have left.
But tell me why it’s so hard to not be chosen, to be the one over-invested when someone thinks so little of you. Tell me why I still feel like I’m borderline in love with her even though I dislike her so much? Tell me why I feel like dying? (Not suicidal people)
This is mostly a vent and meant to be rhetorical, but I am taking applications for friends who are dealing with anything similar and just want to chat or have a friend to vent to. I’m in my late 30s in case that matters.