AITA My mom is using my identity to guilt-trip me because I won't let her toxic siblings snoop on my life.
im 26, on estrogen, and i go out bare faced or dolled up all the time. im not "hiding." my family is just a constant cycle of toxicity. my mom, aunt, grandma, and uncle have spent my whole life fighting, not speaking for months, then getting back together just to talk shit about each other. i stay away from them for a reason. i don't follow them on social media and they don't have access to my life.
im very open online about my makeup, style, and my femininity on tiktok. i even follow distant family that are actually chill. but i dont want the toxic ones in my space. recently, my mom and aunt started talking again after years. my mom decided to send my aunt pictures and videos of me in my makeup/outfits without asking. i told her it was a boundary because i don't trust that woman. she said she "understood."
then, suddenly, 2 cousins, my uncle, his girlfriend, and another relative all viewed my tiktok profile. i’ve never had this issue until my mom started "sharing" me like a prop to her siblings. when i brought it up, she blew up. she started amping herself up while i was in another room with the door closed and accused me of being "ashamed" of who i am. she sent me a long text saying im "living in the shadows" and that i should "stand on" who i am instead of being "uncomfortable with being seen."
i told her privacy doesn't equal shame. im visible to the whole world, i just don't want a front-row seat to their toxic cycle. i told her if i was actually "in the shadows," she wouldn't even have pictures of me to show people in the first place. she only has those because i TRUSTED her.
she just tried to "apologize" for getting angry, but not for what she actually said. when i called her out for only apologizing for the yelling and not the overstepping texts, it became a whole debate. she asked if i want her to tell the family i don't like them... i told her that only serves her so do what you want, but i blocked them all already.
im just pissed and don't know what to do other than talk about it. AITAH for protecting my peace from people who treat each other like garbage?
Add on: if me saying I’m on estrogen and calling them toxic doesn’t fill in the blanks for you…I won’t. I tried posting another version that was SPECIFIC first and it got removed.